Friday, August 27, 2010

A Voice From The Past

Guten Ohakonbanchiwa! ah, this is my made-up "Germanese" greeting. German + Japanese. Well...." Ohakonbanchiwa" is another made-up word created by one of a Japanese anime character. It's a mixture of these three words : "Ohayo/Good morning", "Konbanwa/Good evening", and "Konnichiwa/Hello". Pretty convenient, yes? Loving it!

I'm finally chilling at home instead of getting outside and digging some fun with friends. Yeah, I'm feeling a bit tired and also it's time to seek for a new adventure now! What do I want to experience next? hmm.....Well...prior to the new adventure, it's nice to clean all the clutters out of my closet and mind. So, I started dividing the clutters into a junk and recyclable item. Guess what? I've got great findings! Yup, found my old scribble notebooks. Especially, two of the drawing books are really old. I did many drawings when I was still a teenager...Here's some of my Japanese manga drawings. Let's peek Hana's teenage era...BTW, I was so passionate to do these drawings everyday instead of studying. I wanted to become a anime illustrator. My career dream completely altered though. 


Fun? Yes, it is fun to bring back the memories from the past. Looking at a school album would be super fun! I would do that when I get back to Japan next time. Imagine, turning the pages of those albums or notebooks...then you start to hear the voices from the past, the younger version of you. What she/he says to you? Are you happy to tell her/him that you become who you wanted be? or maybe, a little YOU emerges from the past and gives you some bold courage you used to have? 

What I've leaned from the findings is a simple core of where my mind is always set : searching for a meaning of life. Despite of a considerable lapse of time, I haven't changed much on how I think or what I believe in both positive and negative matters. The only difference I can tell is that my current quest is  more profound than the past one. Learning & practicing to kick my negative scarcity out of my system and leading my life to be full and complete with abundance. But boy, surprise, surprise! I used to dig a darker side of ME a lot...reading those thoughts made me feel I put the feeling back into " the past "and came back to the present. Smile. 

Anyways, this cleaning project seems very practical and meaningful. I now created more space for a new thing to come in. Hello, Universe. I'm ready to take on a new adventure! What? ah, ok. I need to come up with an idea what's next, because....I am the creator of my life!!! Let me think....

" A man is what he thinks about all day long. " - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have a great summer weekend everyone! Hula hooping? Swimming? Sun bathing? Do whatever brings you  :D    Ok? For now, I'm gonna dig this vid, Jason Mraz's beautiful performance at Hollywood Bowl on YouTube :) Ha! Love his amazing voice and talent!!!!!!!

Love and a sweet summer kiss,



  1. 子猫の絵、と文にぐっときたー。
    Have a lovely weekend! :))

  2. そうなんよねー。あの時,バス停の後ろにあった教習所の草むらでちょこんと座ってなごなごいってたの。今でもあの時の心の打撲した痛みみたいな思いは覚えてるよ。三毛だったな。かわいかったぁー。すんごく人なつこくって、いやー、つれてくー!の世界やったの。学校いかなあかんかって、なんか,踏み切れんかったな。あかねちんなら、絶対わかってくれる思ったよ。読んでくれてありがとっ。
    他にもカミュの本 “幸福な死” を読んだあとに書いた文はもっと暗かった。げっ、って思ったけど,本の影響かな?ということで、流すことにした。(笑)



  3. great thoughts.
    i am going to meditate on that idea for a few minutes.
    if me now could go back in time and talk to younger me, what would i tell him.
    bery interestink.

    i see kitties and tink haven't changed since a teen. sweet!


  4. Holanbanwa!

    Genki? Yeah, I know I've been drawn to kitties and a girl with a pair of wings since I was a teen. hee hee.

    Glad you enjoyed reading this post ;) I want to chat with little Jonathan one day... ah, maybe we can talk through our little version of ourselves!! Interestinktink! Little Jonathan and little hana. cooooooool! There's one huge problem....little hana don't speak English or Japangrish at all....

    So, hope you enjoy chatting with little jonathan. I look forward to a report later :)



  5. Awesome post Hana! Full of wisdom, dotted with quite fun.
    Hey little Hana, you are very talented! Maybe some of your thought were a little gray, but we can't see none in your (so colourful) drawings!

    I’ve been going through my old school agendas and stuff last automn, and I realized that a much bigger part of me didn’t changed as much as I thought. I am still the same acutely romantical-dreaming girl. But my profound quest of searching the meaning of life came with the thirty, and the wisdom with it. Gosh, how I am enjoying my thirties! :)

    You just made me stop and think… Not taking time for cleaning all the clutters out of my closet and mind before going on a new adventure –well, even not looking at it as kinda seperate new adventures- is what I was doing wrong. I used to add it all in my basket at the same time, but the basket is getting pretty heavy now!! You have no idea how you are making me realize some things with this post, dear Hana! I now see that this is why I’m finding myself stuck recently: the universe doesn’t feel me ready to take on a new adventure. Haha! Thank you, sister! Now I’ll have to take some time to divide the clutters of my mind and do some cleaning, to give back to those moments what is their own, and move forward lighter.

    Looking to my Little Me, yes, I am so happy and proud to tell her who I turned to be. Tears of joy and compassion. I hold her in my arms, against my heart, so she can feel all the love fulfilling it and give her courage.

    Aaahh, thank you so much for this introspection, Hana! Ha, gosh, this is powerful! I am utterly blown!! You just opened me the way to my inner child! There are no words to express all the gratefulness that is taking me right now! I wish I could hug you too, Miss Joy Flower!

    Have a wonderful weekend!
    Here it is a long three-days weekend. We were supposed to go for a last weekend of camping, but it turnd to be really gray and rainy, so we are going to a friend’s house for a potluck and to play games tonight. Tomorrow is another day, let see what it will bring!

    Much love, gratitude and smiles!
    ~Marie ♥

  6. Isn't it funny how we can all be in such different places and spaces yet experiencing the same thing?
    My space was slowly turning into a bird nest so I am super grateful I had some reminders and gentle pushes towards organization. I talked with some friends who are doing the same thing. Looks like this was "clean up" weekend : )
    I hope your mind is as clear as your environment! : )

  7. @ Marie-Eve
    Heeeeey, mi amiga!

    How are you? Boy, last week was busy! Friday and Saturday was a killer :o I got out very early morning for a wedding anniversary job on both days...and I even went to a jazz gig after work on Saturday night. I stayed till the end...ha ha. Now I'm having a sleep depletion. I try to sleep as much as possible tonight!

    wow, thank you for your thoughtful comment! I'm glad you dig it :) I had a plenty of time for myself when I wrote this post. So, I had a great time traveling time between the past and the present. It was an awesome experience. Reading old journals and scribbles is definitely a new opening door to survey your mind.

    Isn't it amazing when you find out that you haven't changed much after experiencing so much of events in your life? Our spiritual issues are improving much slower than we thought, yes? I found out my assignments in ME. It's been there since...I was born? funny! I'd love to tackle them one by one.

    oh, yes. Having too much stuff in both mind and closet is no bueno. No need to do it all at once though. Pick a small part of it first, then move on to another place next time. I don't want you to suffer with a panic attack ;p hee hee. and it's very important that you love yourself. Hugged little Marie-Eve? Perfect!! She needs your love more than anything. Without loving can we be happy? how can we love someone? You're good at practicing love acceptance!! Carry on, Marie-Eve :) You are love inspiring superforester!!!!

    I am so happy to share this thought with you, sister! Hope your long weekend was excellent despite the saggy weather. Rain is actually very nice. It cleanse everything. A perfect element for a cleaning day ;)

    Much love and kitty hugs, and kisses from the trees in Central Park...

    Funny Flowerjoyologist in Big Apple aka Hanabanana

  8. @ Jenni

    Hello, superforester jenni! Thank you for stopping by, and nice to meet you :)

    Yeah, it's interesting. You and your friends also start decluttering things around you? I guess this must be a message from the universe for all of us then. You know, cleaning up your environment!! and if we are done with our small nest to be clean...then we are capable of helping other part of environment to look pretty and organized. Our cleaning mission may end up making our planet nice and beautiful :D

    My weekend was busy working as a freelance flower designer. I felt joy by being who I am though. Just recuperating from a physical exhaustion now... ;p

    Hope you had a great long weekend!

    BTW, your video was awesome! Thank you for sharing it. It makes everyone feel happy and want to visit Zero One!!

    Love and gratitude,


  9. Hana!

    I am so glad to read that your freelance work seems to work well! I am sure you are making a good use of the tips from the Cafe Gratitude workshop! ;)

    I am sorry that I didn't see your response earlier!

    Yes, definitely is a new opening door to survey the mind. Even for things I have wrote a couple of weeks ago (published or not, sent to the recipient or not), when I take a second or third read at! I make myself thinking with my own writings! Ha! Funny, isn't it?

    Huummm! Yep! Life has charged itself to make me understand I wasn't ready to really love someone. And I am accepting it with a huge smile, 'cause I now know and understand why, which is great! So this makes me enthusiastic!

    No worries, sister! I won't have a panic attack! ;) I understood: deal with just a few at a time!

    Aaahhh! Central Park! I will have to pay me a second visit there one day. It will start to turn really colourful soon! It must be beautiful! I'd like to make huge heaps of leaves in Central Park and play in it! :)
    But I will just go crash myself into bed for right now!

    Much love and sweet dreams, Hanabanana!

  10. Hey, Marie-Eve!!

    I didn't know that you were here again ;p sorry! I haven't been here for a while. Gee, I wrote this 3weeks ago, huh? wow, time really flies away...! I've been dealing with " Sandy " these days and it's been blocking my brain to be active. Sandy is some annoying symptoms of my hormonal changes due to the perimenopause. hee hee. I named the symptoms as " Sandy". Funny?

    Anyways...Your life is awesome. It seems both of us is heading towards the power of love as our strength? Very cool. oh, I would love to attend jon's Love Workshop in LA!!! I'll wait till next chance to come...

    and yes, when you come in the city, we're gonna spend a day in the park!!! Nowadays, I dream about traveling...traveling a lot to many places. I'm gonna visit my friend's summer house in the woods next week. Can't waaaaaaaaaait!

    I'll post some pics on either Tumblr or Flickr when real Autumn comes around the city ;)

    Had a great weekend?

    Much love and smiles,

    Hanabanana & sleepykittySeesaw